Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT): Managing Intense Emotions, Reducing Reactivity, and Building a More Grounded Life

At Be Anchored Psychology, many people come to us describing emotions that feel too intense, too fast, or too overwhelming. They often feel stuck in patterns of self-criticism, avoidance, conflict, or impulsive behaviours that don’t align with their values.

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is one of the most evidence-based and effective approaches for emotional dysregulation, long-standing coping patterns, trauma responses, and relationship instability. This guide explains what DBT is, why emotions feel so hard for some people, how DBT works in the brain, and what to expect when you begin DBT-informed therapy at Be Anchored Psychology.

What Is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)?

DBT is a structured, evidence-based therapy developed by Dr Marsha Linehan to help people with intense emotions and difficulty regulating them. It blends three key approaches:

  • Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT): shifting unhelpful thoughts and behaviours

  • Mindfulness: observing internal experiences without judgement

  • Dialectics: holding two seemingly opposite things as true at the same time

The core message of DBT is deeply validating:
You are doing the best you can AND you can learn new skills to cope differently.

DBT is widely used across Australia for Borderline Personality Disorder, trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, emotional dysregulation, chronic shame, eating disorders, and other long-standing patterns. However, you don’t need a diagnosis to benefit from DBT. Many people simply want skills that help life feel more stable.

Why Emotions Feel Hard for Some People

Many people believe they should simply “control” their emotions, and when they can’t, they assume something is wrong with them. In reality, a range of factors can shape emotional sensitivity and reactivity:

1. Temperament

Some people are born with naturally stronger emotional responses or faster emotional activation.

2. Early invalidation

Growing up in an environment where emotions were minimised, ignored, or punished can create deep difficulty with identifying and trusting emotional signals.

3. Trauma or chronic stress

These experiences can heighten the nervous system, making it more reactive and less able to return to baseline.

4. Lack of modelling

If you never saw adults regulate emotions effectively, it’s completely understandable that emotional skills feel foreign.

5. Social learning

People often develop coping strategies that helped them survive earlier in life — withdrawing, shutting down, minimising needs — even if these strategies are less helpful now.

DBT helps build new patterns from the inside out.

How DBT Works in the Brain

DBT is not just psychological. It changes the brain.

The Amygdala: Emotional Alarm System

When emotions become overwhelming, the amygdala activates quickly, triggering fight, flight, or freeze responses. People with emotional sensitivity often experience stronger and faster amygdala activation.

The Prefrontal Cortex: The Regulator

This part of the brain handles decision-making, impulse control, and perspective-taking. Under emotional stress, it “goes offline,” making it harder to think clearly or respond intentionally.

Where DBT Helps

DBT strengthens the connection between the emotional and rational parts of the brain.
Through mindfulness and emotion regulation skills, the brain becomes better at:

  • recognising emotional cues earlier

  • reducing the intensity of emotional responses

  • returning to baseline after stress

  • engaging the prefrontal cortex sooner

This is why DBT is not just about “coping”. It can genuinely rewire emotional pathways.

The Four Modules of DBT Explained

1. Mindfulness

The foundation of DBT. Mindfulness is about:

  • noticing thoughts, emotions, and sensations

  • staying present

  • responding intentionally instead of reactively

  • reducing harsh self-judgement

Mindfulness creates space between “I feel something” and “I act on it.”

2. Distress Tolerance

These skills help you survive emotional crises without making the situation worse.

They include:

  • grounding

  • sensory soothing

  • slowing the body

  • crisis survival strategies

  • Radical Acceptance

These tools reduce impulsive reactions and create safety during emotional storms.

3. Emotion Regulation

This module teaches you to:

  • understand how emotions work

  • name and identify emotions more accurately

  • reduce emotional vulnerability

  • increase emotional resilience

  • shift emotional responses with tools like Opposite Action

Over time, these skills reduce emotional intensity and increase stability.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

These skills help you communicate more clearly while maintaining self-respect.

You’ll learn how to:

  • set boundaries without guilt

  • ask for what you need

  • navigate conflict without escalation

  • balance your needs with others’

  • stop people-pleasing patterns

These skills transform how relationships feel.

The DBT Skills Hierarchy (What We Prioritise in Therapy)

DBT follows a structured order when deciding what to work on. At Be Anchored Psychology, we follow the same clinically informed hierarchy:

  1. Life-threatening behaviours

  2. Behaviours that interfere with therapy (avoidance, shutdown, missing sessions)

  3. Quality-of-life issues (relationships, emotional habits, coping patterns)

  4. Skills building

This ensures therapy is safe, focused, and effective.

DBT vs. Other Therapies (ACT, CBT, Schema)

Many people ask why DBT is different from other therapy approaches.

DBT vs CBT

  • CBT focuses on thoughts

  • DBT focuses on emotions, behaviours, and acceptance

  • DBT is better for intense emotional activation and impulsivity

DBT vs ACT

  • ACT teaches acceptance + values-based action

  • DBT gives more structured, step-by-step skills for emotion regulation

  • Many clinicians at BAP combine ACT and DBT

DBT vs Schema Therapy

  • Schema Therapy focuses on deeper developmental patterns

  • DBT focuses on daily skills and emotional stabilisation

  • They complement each other well, depending on the client

Self-Check: Would DBT Be Helpful for You?

You may benefit from DBT if you resonate with any of these:

  • I feel emotions more intensely than others

  • I react quickly and regret it later

  • I shut down or avoid when overwhelmed

  • I struggle with boundaries or saying no

  • I feel shame or self-criticism often

  • I want concrete tools, not just insight

  • My relationships feel chaotic, draining, or confusing

  • I’m exhausted by repeating the same patterns

If several feel true, DBT may be a supportive next step.

Ready to Begin DBT?

If you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed or stuck in emotional patterns that don’t serve you, DBT can help you feel more grounded, more capable, and more in control.

Contact Be Anchored Psychology today to learn how DBT-informed therapy can support you to build a life that feels steadier, calmer, and more aligned with your values.

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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Break Unhelpful Patterns and Build Emotional Resilience