Cognitive Distortions: The Thought Patterns That Shape How We Feel
We all interpret the world through our own lens, shaped by experiences, beliefs, memories, and mood. But sometimes that lens becomes warped, leading us to draw inaccurate or unhelpful conclusions. Psychologists call these patterns cognitive distortions: habitual ways of thinking that feel true in the moment but pull us away from reality, often amplifying distress.
Cognitive distortions are normal, common, and automatic, and they can affect anyone. They’re strongly linked with anxiety, depression, stress, relational conflict, and low self-worth. The goal isn’t to eliminate them entirely, but to notice, understand, and respond to them differently.
What Are Cognitive Distortions?
Cognitive distortions are biased mental shortcuts that our brains use to make meaning quickly. While helpful in some contexts (like keeping us alert to danger), they can create emotional pain when they oversimplify, catastrophise, or personalise experiences.
When we understand our distortions, we gain back a sense of agency. We become less fused with our thoughts and more capable of responding intentionally, rather than reacting emotionally.
Common Cognitive Distortions
All-or-Nothing Thinking – Seeing situations in extremes.
“If I don’t do it perfectly, I’ve failed.”Catastrophising – Expecting the worst-case scenario as inevitable.
“If I make a mistake, it will ruin everything.”Mental Filtering – Focusing solely on the negative and ignoring positives.
“They gave me good feedback but mentioned one improvement, so I must be doing terribly.”Overgeneralisation – Using one event to predict a global pattern.
“That conversation went badly; people must always think I’m awkward.”Mind Reading – Assuming we know others’ thoughts without checking.
“They didn’t reply yet. They must be annoyed with me.”Personalisation – Blaming yourself for things outside your control.
“My friend is upset; I must have done something wrong.”Emotional Reasoning – Treating feelings as facts.
“I feel like a failure, so I must be one.”Should/Must Statements – Rigid rules about how you or others “should” behave.
“I should be coping better. I must not struggle.”Labelling – Applying global negative labels to yourself or others.
“I’m so stupid.”Discounting the Positive – Rejecting positive experiences as insignificant.
“Anyone could have done that—it doesn’t count.”
The Neurobiology Behind Cognitive Distortions
Your brain forms cognitive distortions for survival:
The amygdala detects threats, sometimes overshooting real danger.
Stress hormones narrow focus, amplifying negative thinking.
Early trauma or chronic invalidation can create habitual filters for threat or failure.
This is not a flaw. It’s your brain doing what it learned to keep you safe. Therapy helps you update these patterns.
The Link Between Cognitive Distortions and Emotions
Intense emotions make distorted thoughts feel “true.” Common connections include:
Anxiety → catastrophising and mind-reading
Depression → mental filtering and discounting positives
Stress → should statements and overgeneralisation
Recognising this loop is key: thoughts influence emotions, and emotions influence thoughts.
The Role of Early Experiences
Cognitive distortions often originate in early life:
Growing up with critical or unpredictable caregivers
High-achievement pressure or perfectionism
Parentification or managing others’ emotions
Repeated invalidation
Trauma, bullying, or peer rejection
Acknowledging this history fosters compassion for yourself and makes therapeutic change feel safer and more realistic.
How Cognitive Distortions Affect Behaviour and Relationships
Unhelpful thoughts influence:
Behaviour: avoidance, overworking, people-pleasing, withdrawal, perfectionism
Relationships: miscommunication, conflict, guilt, over-responsibility
Self-esteem: harsh self-criticism, chronic self-doubt
Cognitive distortions shape how we respond to the world, often without conscious awareness.
Therapies That Target Cognitive Distortions
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Thought logs, cognitive restructuring, and behavioural experiments
Identifying and challenging core beliefs
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Cognitive defusion: observing thoughts without attachment
Values-driven action rather than reaction
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
Mindfulness and Wise Mind techniques
Opposite Action and Distress Tolerance
Schema Therapy
Exploring deep-rooted patterns
Healing core wounds and rewriting long-standing narratives
Self-Assessment and Reflection
Ask yourself:
Which distortions show up most often for me?
Where did I first learn to interpret situations this way?
What emotions usually accompany these thoughts?
Reflection helps you notice patterns before they take over.
A Mini Cognitive Restructuring Exercise
Identify the situation – What triggered the thought?
Notice the automatic thought – Write it down.
Label the distortion – Which thinking trap is this?
Check the evidence – What facts support or contradict it?
Generate a balanced thought – A more compassionate, realistic perspective.
This simple tool can be practised daily to shift thinking habits gradually.
When Cognitive Distortions Are Trauma Responses
For many, distortions are protective responses to:
Early invalidation
Chronic stress
Trauma or unsafe environments
Understanding this fosters self-compassion: distortions are survival strategies, not personal flaws.
How to Talk Back to Your Inner Critic
Grounding statements: “This is a thought, not a fact.”
Self-compassion reframes: “It’s understandable I feel this way.”
Supportive friend perspective: “Would I say this to someone I care about?”
These strategies reduce the emotional power of distortions without forcing false positivity.
Signs You’re Improving
Thoughts feel less “true” or sticky
Emotional reactions are less intense
You pause before acting on a thought
You notice distortions quickly
You have more mental clarity and space
Small wins matter. Progress is gradual and measurable.
Final Thoughts
Cognitive distortions don’t mean something is “wrong” with you—they reflect learned mental shortcuts designed to keep you safe. With awareness, support, and practical tools, you can see thoughts more clearly, respond with compassion, and build healthier emotional patterns.
If you’ve noticed these patterns in your own thinking, you’re not alone, and change is possible. Be Anchored Psychology can help you understand where these thoughts come from, soften their impact, and build healthier thinking habits that support your wellbeing.
Reach out today to book an appointment.
Additionally, check out our posts on Rumination and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to learn practical strategies and start breaking unhelpful thinking patterns today.